You likely have not noticed AT ALL, but I feel like everyone is wondering why it’s been a couple of weeks since my last blog piece. No, I don’t think you are all on the edge of your seat WAITING for my next post….I’m not speaking from a place of arrogance. What is happening here is that we, as per usual, place our self-doubt into the mouths of others. It’s such a vicious cycle isn’t it? The reason I’ve been struggling is because this is the LONGEST I’ve gone without writing….and it’s completely stressing me out! This of course is all fear-based. Just because I haven’t written anything for two weeks doesn’t mean that I will never write again, that I’ve simply run out of ideas….but that’s where my brain goes, taunting me louder and louder.
What is supposed to be FUN and an amazing outlet that I’ve uncovered for myself, seems to have picked up rules along the way. So just like a rolled snowball picks up snow until it’s too heavy to move, I’ve let myself become stuck. I’ve created rules attached to running my blog, something that should always remain free-flowing and organic (at this point I would like to give a major head nod to fellow blogger Kerry Clare, who, if reading this, may be wondering if I was listening AT ALL during her workshop last month, even though I agree wholeheartedly with everything she said!) Rules like “I must post at least twice a week” “I must perfectly balance my own writing with my entrepreneur features” “I must take more of my own pictures instead of turning to a photo database like Pexels” “I must always have more than 500 words for each entry” “I must continuously engage my readers” “I must be funnier in my next piece”….this list, unfortunately, is not exhaustive. But I’m exhausted just thinking about all of it!
I’ve decided to write this piece (ironic right?) as a virtual hand slap to knock some sense back into me. Who made these rules? ME. And who can break them? ME. We are allowed to break the rules we make! Isn’t that part of what makes being an entrepreneur so attractive to certain personalities? The control! What you are working on can be whatever you want it to be. It doesn’t have to be exactly like your neighbours and truly shouldn’t be.
I’m thinking that many of you can relate to this type of thinking, as it can be found in various areas of our lives (think “I can have two cookies, but not three” or “I need to go to bed every night at 9:45, never as late as 10:00” or “I need to wash the floors once a week even though it’s a beautiful day outside and they don’t even look dirty”) And when we break these “rules”, we feel guilty, even though we are the ones that make these insane and very specific guidelines.
So for the next while I’m going to TRY to NOT have a plan, which goes against every fiber of my being. This of course doesn’t apply to my work with entrepreneurs, those collaborations are always at the top of my priority list and I work with passion and efficiency to get them published. But for the ramblings that take up the rest of Arrow It Forward, I will write when I want to, when it won’t feel forced. I promise to myself to move forward as a rule breaker….it’s more fun that way!
P.S. I just noticed that this piece is indeed over 500 words, I just can’t help it dammit!