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Wasting Time: 20 Ways to Be Completely Unproductive

Nobody likes to feel unproductive, especially a busy mom! I’ve compiled a list of things for you to avoid in order to stop wasting time. Aren’t I helpful?!


  • Decide to organize your closet, make piles on the floor and leave piles untouched and in the way for six weeks


  • Walk around the house straightening things like the remote controls and Kleenex boxes…you know, things that really matter and totally WON’T be moved by an obviously heartless member of your family in the next 48 seconds (but isn’t it a heavenly 48 seconds?!)


  • Tell your kids they have 5 more minutes on their tablets, when everyone in the house knows you are going to say this 4 more times while you are finishing a glass of wine


  • Open and close all of the following multiple times: fridge, cupboards, freezer….before finally grabbing a granola bar, even though you could have made a 5 course meal during this time of indecision


  • Scroll through Netflix for a show that both you and your partner will like….stop now, such a show does not exist (please just silently nod at each other and retreat to different rooms to binge watch Game of Thrones and Bachelorette)


  • Dust in the evening. You will only awake the next morning to sun streaming in the window showing what a shitty job you did…and all of the particles floating in the air…how are we supposed to dust the AIR?!


  • Grab your phone to take a video of your kid doing the CUTEST thing….they will stop, likely expecting cash payment to continue


  • Eat healthy all day and then head on over to a drive thru at 10pm


  • Create a stacking system for all of your plastic containers. They will only look like that for exactly one day before becoming one big no matching lid mess


  • Search Pinterest for hairstyles and pin AT LEAST 39 hairstyles that look EXACTLY the same


  • Shave your legs #kiddingnotkidding


  • Make your kids grilled cheese using the “wrong cheese” hoping they won’t notice….they don’t put up with that shit


  • Make another grilled cheese for your son when he says he is soooo hungry he MUST have another one….he will eat one tiny bite off of each quarter


  • Mail Christmas cards (hey I love Christmas, but who’s with me here?? #recycling)


  • Meal plan (it all gets screwed up when you order pizza the very next night anyway)


  • Fold underwear (if you do this I think you are a sociopath)


  • Fold fitted sheets (if you do this I think you are Harry Potter)


  • Carry grocery bags into the house in manageable armloads…NOPE you need to carry everything AT THE SAME TIME while yelling at your four year old to get the door before the case of pop falls off your head


  • Ask for someone’s opinion, you don’t truly want it anyway….unless it’s the right one


  • Empty the garbage can before playing a Tetris-inspired game of who can stack it the highest


I sincerely hope I have cleared some things up for you, and please know that reading my blog is NEVER considered wasting time….or saying to a friend “hey you should read this blog!”
Everyone has their own methods of wasting time they’ve perfected, how do YOU find ways to be completely unproductive?

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